Michael

You get a shiver at the Tan
It's chilly at the night but suddenly
South of the Yarra you
stop and you hold everything
Runners are flying thirty hundreds on track
You feel all right when
you hear start gun shot

you step inside but you
don't see too many companies  (*)
coming in out of the night
to watch the game go on
Too much graduations too many internships 
But not too many guys can run that fast
way on downsouth
way on downsouth Melbourne town

You check out winner Jeff (**)
He cheers all the crowds
Mind he's strictly focused he
doesn't want to scare his fan
And a second surplus is all he can afford
When he crossed the finish to beat the second.
And Stephen doesn't mind if  (***)
he doesn't make the scene
He's got friends' support he's feeling alright
He can run with two guys just like everything
pushing each other for 10K race
at the Zatopek
at the Zatopek (of) 10.

And a crowd of young boys they're
fooling around in the corner
boasting and dressing in their best
karaoke and social gatherings.
They don't give a damn about
any legend running tale  (****)
It ain't what they want credit and cash
And the Zatopek observed silence

And then the man he steps
right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time you left
'Thank you and goodnight
now it's time to go home'
and he makes it fast with one more thing
'This is Zatopek, this is Zatopek (of) 10.'

(* : students are just too busy on their own graduation or internship at home) (**: Jeff Riseley, 1500m, VIC, 3:39.77 ) (***: Stephen Dinneen, 10000m,  VIC, 29:08.38, 7th, I got this idea simply because ppl around my seat keep cheering up him during the race. Actually he might mind as he is really capable to challenge the front.) (****: mourn for dual Commonwealth gold medallist  Kerryn McCann )

I still remember the coach shared the video of 2006 Commonwealth Game a day before the Melbourne Marathon. I still remember inspiring Kerryn McCann crossed the finish line and won the marathon for Australia. Although I just saw that moment from the video clip, I was still able to feel the atmosphere of that moment.

Today when I noticed the death of Kerryn McCann after the battle of Breast Cancer, I feel really sad and sorry about her family. I pray for her husband and three children. Although I don't know about her story entirely, I know she is an  inspiring and tough person and it is so sad to hear about this new.

I also think something about life. A woman who won the Commonwealth Game two years ago close the curtain of her life today. It is so unexpected and unforeseeable.  Who knows whether you are still alive two years later? As everything is so uncertain as you don't even know if you will still live in this world, it is so meaningless to plan your future for more than 2 or 3 years. It is rather reasonable for me to cherish who I am gripping now.

It is quite hard to explain why I have such kind of feeling, but I really think this world so far is playing joke on me. It is not fun at all if you are being fooled, let alone to the circumstance when you have such feeling endlessly.

I really hate ambiguous. That's fine if I have been told that I am a totally rubbish in studies so I can decide to work right after the high school. That's okay if I know I am not able to study something at the beginning so I can change to study art. However, it is NOT FUN AT ALL when I find myself is a piece of shit on the half way, but I don't know why this world love playing such kind of joke on me.

Truly, I don't know why I have some kinds of brilliant life in high school that make me feel so shit to face myself now. Those are the curses that bounded me to get rid of certain kinds of ill feeling. Those are the curses of my life:

A CURSE WHEN I HAVE GOT A FAIR RESULT IN HKCEE AND GOT A FU*KING ''A" IN CHINESE HISTORY", THEN I WAS TRAPPED BY A-LEVEL STUDIES AND PISSED OFF. A CURSE WHEN I GOT HIGH GRADE IN YEAR-ONE ACCOUNTING, THEN I WAS TRAPPED IN YEAR-TWO AND FORCED TO GIVE UP.

Damn it, I have wasted my time and money simply because I am not "RUBBISH" enough? What's the point? Have I done anything wrong? Of course I am a sinner and have no right to blame my God, but those $$ are belonged to my innocent parents and I feel so sorry for them to have such a weird son.

When will I be able to finish such kind of prolonged journey? Now I am really old now, so do my parents. I reckon it is the best way for me to recognise myself as a "study rubbish" so I would narrow my mind to finish my fu*king degree and piss off. I don't mean I regard myself as a rubbish as I know it very well that it is a blasphemy to regard God's creature as a rubbish. I just want to have some kind of right positioning which is a kind of sh*tty Marketing technique. Here I really need to position myself as inferior as possible so I would make realistic goals in the future.

haven't updated this blog for a long time.... mainly because of the death of my computer... it accompanied me for 3 years already and finally rest in peace :(

Anyway I have just bought a second hand notebook in city for $500 and it sounds in pretty good quality. Unfortunately I am not able to type Chinese so my plan to write a novel have to be delayed.

So far I have just finished my summer semester unit. Currently I am able to enjoy a short period of rest before my friend come in the mid December. I expect to have a rather busy Christmas as I will travel to Cairns and Gold Coast. Sorry God for not putting you at the first place by spoiling myself in some kinds of material enjoyment.

Here I would also want to update my study progress here. The exam result have already published and I failed my accounting again. Subjected to the financial matter and the unwillingness to be an accountant, I decided to give up my accounting side of my double degree and study management solely, so I will take an underload for the rest of 3 management units next semester. I have also applied for the master of public policy and management for 2009 semester 2 and have got the conditional offer. I reckon I need to reform myself to be a guy who cares about how the hell this world going on... also ... have to improve my speaking and writing skill in order to transform myself as a merely management student. Most importantly, I have to keep relying on God who provides me with the daily needs.